I dived in, to the shallow end of the gene pool
I didn’t know how shallow it would be
I dived into the shallow end of the gene pool
How I survived, it still surprises me
Now I’ll tell you a story, some folks may think it’s gory
It’s about a very close-knit family
It started in this little town where everybody gets around
With mis-matched noses, eyes, and ears, and teeth
Well pappy was a farm hand, he always was a family man
By that, I mean he took it literally
My sister is my brother, she used to be my mother
Until my pappy took a shine to me
I dived in, to the shallow end of the gene pool
I didn’t know how shallow it would be
I dived into the shallow end of the gene pool
How I survived, it still surprises me
Mammas in the kitchen, cooking chicken finger lickin’
She uses an old family recipe
Pappy’s in the pig-pen trying hard to get his end in
And I don’t think I’ll be coming home for tea
Life was never simple back on my mamma’s nipple
Excuse me if I speak so candidly
The only thing that really counts is making sure when pappy shouts
To drop them overalls and spread those cheeks
I dived in, to the shallow end of the gene pool
I didn’t know how shallow it would be
I dived into the shallow end of the gene pool
How I survived, it still surprises me
The family tree don’t fork, it just goes in a line
But we stick together, we’re homemade moonshine
The family tree don’t fork, it’s a straight little vine
But we’re growing strong, one branch at a time
I dived in, to the shallow end of the gene pool
I didn’t know how shallow it would be
I dived into the shallow end of the gene pool
How I survived, it still surprises me
We’re a circle of kin, where the lines all bend
A family reunion that don’t ever end
We’ve got love to spare, we’re thick as thieves
In a town where the family tree’s got no leaves