Well, I was sittin’ on the porch, sippin’ on sweet tea,
When a rumble in my belly started talkin’ to me.
It said, “Partner, let me out, I’ve been trapped too long,”
And that’s when I learned farts could sing their own song.
There’s the sneaky little squeaker, the silent but deadly,
The thunderous bass drum that shakes the room steady.
From the bubbly chuckle to the one that just stinks,
Every toot’s got a story, let me tell you what I think.
Now the SBD creeps in like a thief in the night,
You don’t hear a thing, but boy, it don’t smell right.
Then there’s the Ripper that tares through the air,
Leavin’ folks scatterin’ like a jackrabbit scared.
Oh, the Bubble Bath fizzles, it’s a delicate art,
But the Crop Duster? Well, that’s a whole ‘nother start.
And don’t forget the Cheek Flapper, loud and proud,
It’ll make your grandma blush and clear out a crowd.
There’s the sneaky little squeaker, the silent but deadly,
The thunderous bass drum that shakes the room steady.
From the bubbly chuckle to the one that just stinks,
Every toot’s got a story, let me tell you what I think.
Now the Elevator fart, that’s a risky ride,
You pray to the Lord no one’s stuck inside.
And the Laughing Gas one? Well, it’s a real hoot,
Till someone starts hollerin’, “Who did the toot?!”
So, here’s to the farts, both big and small,
They’re a part of us all, yes, they’re part of us all.
From the barn to the bar room, they’re a natural art,
So, tip your hat to the symphony of farts.
And if you’re feelin’ gassy, just let it go free,
‘Cause life’s too short to hold in a melody.