I met her down by the delta, on a moonlit night
She had a seashell bra, and a voice so polite
I didn’t think it through, I just fell head over fins
Now we’re living together, when the trouble begins
She’s got a siren’s song and a touch so slick
But when it’s romance time, well, it’s a slippery trick
I’m searching, but trying hard to avoid the scales
I’m a cowboy on a mission, destined to fail
I married a mermaid, now my bed’s always wet
She’s part siren, part sin, and a whole lot of regret
I’m trying hard to tango, I even bought a net
She said, cowboy, you ain’t figured it out yet
She cooks up a mean green seaweed casserole
We both love seafood, just not from the fishbowl
But when the sun goes down, and we hit the hay
That’s when complications rise with the bedroom buffet
I’ve got rubber sheets, I’ve got a waterbed
I’m losing my mind, there ain’t no legs to spread
She’s soggy, and slippery and a little confused
When I try doggy style as a substitute
I married a mermaid, now my bed’s always wet
She’s part siren, part sin, and a whole lot of regret
I’m trying hard to tango, I even bought a net
She said, cowboy, you ain’t figured it out yet
Now folks in town all laugh with no remorse
Saying, cowboys shouldn’t be riding’ no seahorse
But she has the best smile, and she loves to talk
We need a mobile kiddy pool when we go for a walk
I married a mermaid, now my bed’s always wet
She’s part siren, part sin, and a whole lot of regret
I’m trying hard to tango, I even bought a net
She said, cowboy, you ain’t figured it out yet
So here’s to my mermaid, my soggy delight
She’s my fish out of water, and I’m her knight
I hope to have some children, and the day they’re born
I may need to wear a wetsuit when she’s ready to spawn
Yeah, I love the gal that can’t wear shoes
But, I’ve got the mermaid mating blues
And I love this gal that ain’t got no pubes
A merkin for the mermaid mating blues